Contains less than 2% of dietary fiber

The Great Chicken Caper.

The idea for the Great Chicken Caper came to me out of the blue last week out of a need to do something fun and exciting over lunch. In order to break the doldrum of our lunch hour, me and Sioux have tried different things to liven up the time. Sometimes we try eating at different places: Evergreen park, under The Cross, the parking lot of Idot (Illinois Dept. of Transportation), etc. But lately we have been considering new ideas. Maybe we could stalk old ladies! Or maybe we could be volunteer door greeters at K-mart ! Nah! They sounded like a good way to kill an hour, but may have gotten us into a little trouble. "We should put up some of those lost-pet flyers, just for the helluvit!" I thought, "but make it something strange that will confuse people."

And so the Great Chicken Caper began.

I was so enthralled with the idea, that I began designing the flyer immediately after I got home that night. Initially I searched google images for "holding a chicken" and got some truly disturbing images. "No," I thought " This may be a little to strange for the typical person.": But then another image search (this time for: Pet Chicken) brought up some more appropriate images for my flyer idea.

With the images selected, I began to write the copy. As funny as it may be to the casual onlooker, there are reasons behind each line of text. A great deal of thought actually went into the creation of the written copy in order to make the flyer applicable to many areas.

The Flyer

Last seen on Feb. 1 in wal-mart parking lot. : The date gives the flyer more validity because of the specifics of the disappearance. Wal-mart was chosen as the location of the incident because this allows the flyer to be placed in numerous communities --because EVERYONE has a Wal-mart. I also rationalized that anyone who would take a chicken into town with them would almost definitely shop at Wal-mart.

Heartbroken Daughter, Please Help!: The call for action. Emotional children, especially girls would draw the most sympathy (I suppose).

Chicken is tame and can be held: This line assures the reader that the chicken is a pet.

Sometimes answers to "Goldie": This line was added for two reasons, The first is to add a little more validity to the flyer by giving the chicken a name. The name Goldie is a personal inside joke dating way, way back into my childhood. My great-grandfather had a girlfriend named Goldie and nobody in the family really liked her, but everyone tolerated her for Grandpa's sake. Goldie wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed and was a small, skinny little thing with a big, big, big nose. So, being the sweet and loving family that we are, my aunt began calling her "chicken head" . So when the need arose for an appropriate name for our missing chicken, "Goldie" seemed the perfect choice.

Likes Corn. : This line is just damn funny.

$12 cash reward!: I suppose this would be all that is rewarded because it is the price of a new chicken.

Call Irene at 217-348-7806: Irene is actually Aaron (a little play on semantics), a guy that I work with. He's going to play along and report the number of calls that come in, if any do.

Sioux at the ready. Look at the intensity on her face! She was primed and ready for some mischief.

(Note to reader: In order to get the most out of reading this, please begin playing the Mission Impossible theme in your head now. Doing this will greatly enhance the story and lead to your further enjoyment of the Great Chicken Caper!)

Me in Evergreen Park, stapling up my first flyer. "Green light! Green light! Everythings a Go!"

This was Sioux's second flyer, but I didn't have time to document the first one. Notice her casual approach, Direct, confident, and completely uncaring as to the legalities of this little prank.

POW! POW! POW! POW! and the flyer is up.

Returning to the car. Check out her stride. It kinda' reminds me of Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs. How about you?

With me acting as the getaway driver, Sioux and I began accosting light poles around entire residential areas.

Eventually, Mr. Pink, er..........Sioux became so emotionally detached that she feared nothing! Look how brazen she is stapling up the flyer, even on the turf of Advantage Realtors!

Sioux ain't afraid of no cars!!!!

And she doesn't even care if the homeowners are in!

After a while, Sioux even began looking at me like an enemy. I got a little scared since she was the one with the staple gun.

In actuality, it may have been after this one where we noticed a police car driving around. Surely they weren't looking for us??? We hadn't done anything wrong besides trying to find a chicken!

Sioux driving her final staple home. It was a fun lunch!

Me giving the big "thumbs up" to Sioux. Notice the scenic view showing the Effingham water tower in the background. This was indeed a fine, fine lunch hour.

Hey! This story ain't over yet! I need some of you guys who took the initiative to spread these flyers around to email me and tell me how it went and what you did. I'll keep your identities secret if you wish, but please let me know or send some pics.