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It's all the rage in Los Angeles!

It cost us a pretty penny, but we finally got that new fiber optic grass installed in our front yard!!! Okay, so maybe it was just the morning dew, but its still a cool concept.

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Drink it all down!

I was giving Captain Alex some crap at work today and the next thing I know, he'd opened up a big ol' can of Whoopass!!!!

Just Wrong!

I got this in the mail today and was pretty inquisitive about the Photoshop conference. You would think that the designers of this brochure would be top-notch and not make errors like the one that appears to say that a man can become whiter by attending the class! Now, I'm sure it wasn't intentional, but surely someone should have caught this before it got sent to thousands of people!!!!

Holy Sh@t, thems a lot of ants!

Mowing, Mowing, Gone.

We have ants!

Detour Ends Here

Salmonella??? Fugetabouddit!!!!

I dream of hooters.

Last night was a long, sleepless night of misery. No, I wasn't sick, or hung over, nor was I be tortured by sadists with hot poking irons, but I was tortured in a manner of speaking. My sleep was inhibited by the distraction of hooters. Hooters right behind my head, outside my window. Yes, the hooters of which I speak were way up in the tree outside our bedroom window. This owl apparently decided that the neighbors tree would be a great place to hang out and hoot all night long. So all night long we were kept awake by the damn birds loud call. This was no soothing owl! No, this nocturnal beast was a demon spawn owl straight out of hell! Or perhaps it was a test from god. Perhaps it was a one time incident! Perhaps it will happen again and again! Perhaps I'll keep the bb-gun handy tonight.......

Letters, we get letters.......

Sioux sent in the following email regarding the April 12th post:

"I was looking at your blog and came to the conclusion that Captain Alex must be a true geek. All the obvious signs are there... the live long and prosper signal, the friendship with you, etc. Then there are the not so obvious signs that only someone with geekdar would spot... the Nasonex and inhaler on his desk!

Yes...... Captain Alex really is quite the geek. but the inhaler actually belongs to The Giant.

Construction Zone

Well, it's that time of year again. The time of year to start planning for Halloween. I never intended on building too awful much this year. This Halloween I wanted to focus on lighting my yard theatrically. I've been reading up on the subject and am trying to devise a system of layered lighting to showcase my existing props. But then again, lighting is expensive and we only keep our yard display out for a single night. So is it even worth it?? I hope so.....

But as always, I get mixed up into projects without even trying. My list so far this year is full of things that I'd like to construct but probably never will. The list is as follows:
1 - A 3d floating head that floats in front of trick-or-treaters ala' Disney Haunted mansion

2- A life sized corpse but from a blow-molded 4' plastic skeleton from Big-Lots

3- A life sized, posable corpse/zombie made from this wire frame that I built two years ago.

4- A grouping of realistic pumpkins made from those cheap plastic pumpkin candy-buckets. I bought about a dozen of them for next to nothing last year after haunting season.

5- A gargoyle, created by converting an old animated Santa-Claus figure that we never use.

So all of those projects, in addition to the lighting scheme are my goals before this Halloween. Today I got a start on two of them, the converted Santa, and the grouping of pumpkins. I'll post pics and tutorials of the projects as they develop.

Lost and Found

The Brat found something interesting today. Something that had the potential to be horribly disgusting if left undiscovered. We were doing a Spring Cleaning this weekend. The girls went through the whole house like fervored dervishes. Throughout the cleaning, no surface went untouched. Knickknacks and books were removed and dusted, trophies were shined, even the walls themselves were cleaned with swiffer sweepers. They're very meticulous in their cleaning, thank god, because upon cleaning her trophies, The Brat found a long-lost Easter Egg.

I remember thinking on Easter Sunday, that there were only 15 eggs found and I thought that we had colored 16, but I wasn't sure and apparently it was hidden exceptionally well.

That sneaky Easter Bunny sure hid the eggs well this year. Thank goodness it finally got found.

The KleenXFiles.

Ever notice the peculiar shape made from the opening of an empty Kleenex box? Captain Alex and I did! Is it a conspiracy? I didn't think so until I accidently inverted the image below. Click on the picture to see Alex's true identity.

Just a reminder...

Even the worst damn day can end in a rainbow.

So who's kid do you think she is?!

This wonderful "Franken-Egg" was just one of the decorative eggs that showed up at our house this Easter. It was the creation of the Brat, of course. And in honor of Jesus' resurrection, I even made a "zombie egg" to compliment the others.

Another Jarhead

The website that I put together for my old Marine Corps unit is really taking off. Just today I got an email from an old friend Scott Lopaka. I hadn't heard from him in about 15 years and I got an email out of the blue. It sounds like he is doing well, and he gave me some updated information on the whereabouts of other people. Hopefully the page will keep growing as more and more people discover it.

I just wish that I had some more time to dedicate to it's development. There's a lot of things that I'd like to add to the page like photo galleries, audio clips, video clips, etc. but time (and available space) are my constant enemies.

Ants in my pants

Since the Brat has been visiting my mother, we had the chance to get a lot done around the house over the weekend. First and foremost, I got the lawnmower running thanks to a new sparkplug, and then I began spreading pollen throughout the whole neighborhood. We also got some poison for the ant problem that were having this year.

I’ve never seen so many ants in my life compared to what we have around our house. Hundreds of tiny ants all over everything. Ants coming through the window trim, from the baseboard in the bathroom, from my butt.... okay not really from my butt, but if this poison doesn’t work, who knows?

I was telling the Reverend Ed that I was going to take a note from Vlad the Impaler (the inspiration for Dracula) and impale hundreds of ants onto toothpicks, then place them right where the ant come inside. Surely this would keep the ants way! Surely they would cower in fear from the impaled thoraxes of their former friends! Surely the would flee! This tactic scared the Turks so much that they wouldn’t invade Transylvania, so surely it would prevent ant infestation.....

My Mobius Loop

Here I sit at the park. Its beautiful out today. Overcast, yet warm. I sit in my car with my leftover pizza. Yes here I sit, watching the squirrels. Watching parents get nervous because I am sitting here alone in the park. Watching the squirrels watching the parents watching me watching the squirrels.

There's a young blonde lady pushing her kid in a swing. Her pants are too tight. You can see her calves stretching the fibers of the jeans. Someone should tell her. Even the squirrels are smirking. Yes, even the squirrels.

Over one million served

I never really mentioned this, but a few weeks ago my pages surpassed the one million hits mark. Yep, that's one friggin million! Now that's not to say that a lot of them weren't you same 300 people coming back over and over, but it's still an impressive number nonetheless.

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