Reply:

Thank you for taking the time to write me about my post. I honestly had to go back and read what I has written so long ago. I appreciate hearing your honest opinion regarding Mr. Pickles. I hope you don't read this and feel as if I am trying to argue with you on the matter, but I will be honest and reply to your message.

My "rant" on Mr. Pickles was based upon my life experiences with him and how he affected not only my life, but the life of the victim. While I'm sure that he was capable of being a kind man to some, he was the epitome of evil in my life and the family of his victim.

I hope he has come to terms and regrets what he has done to others, as you say. But just because he regrets his actions in no way should negate the seriousness of his past actions. You stated that it wasn't Mr. Pickles that killed the man, but the drugs. Drugs cannot murder on their own. There must be a person, a host, a drive if you will that is provoked by the drugs. Saying that he wasn't responsible for what he did is as asinine as saying that it was the air planes and not Al-Queda who blew up the World Trade Center. It just doesn&Mac226;t make sense as an excuse.

I'm sorry that you feel offended by my knowing only "part of the story", but you too only know part of the story. Luckily, you were never tormented to the point of near suicide by Mr. Pickles as I was during childhood. His behavior certainly made me a stronger person in the long run, but no one should have to live with that type of abuse.

The part of your email that states that he is doing it like a man, which is more than I can say for you.... is ridiculous. You have no basis for that claim at all. Of course I'm not serving a prison sentence like a "man". I have done many "manly" things in my life. I spent four years in the Marine Corps, I put myself through college, I raised a beautiful daughter, but no, I've never been to prison because of a drug-induced rampage. I'm sorry that you feel that you have to attack my character to justify what Mr. Pickles has done in the past. Jesus wouldn't like that at all.

So consider him to be a fallen, misrepresented hero in your own eyes if you want. Your opinion is just that, an opinion. And even as your experiences paint him to be a troubled angel, mine see him as a monster.

As a father, I can understand if you would like me to remove the post for the sake of his children. It would be senseless for them to discover these horrible actions of their father, if they didn't already understand what was going on. I'll be sure to remove any and all of the post(s) regarding Mr. Pickles if you wish, but I can't, nor won't ever bring myself to forgive him.

Peanutsmama's Reply:

Thank you for your response. Yes, I would like for you to remove the posts. When I "googled" Mr. Pickles name, your blog was the first thing that appeared. I would hate for any of his children to ever read that... true as it may be. I cannot imagine what they have already read and heard. I am only thankful they're far removed from Kalamazoo and the nightmare that was their life at the time of Mr. Pickles's arrest.

I do not doubt your story. In any way, shape or form. When Mr. Pickles lost his many battles with addiction - which happened many times - I saw something in him that was not pretty. It was never directed at me, for which I am thankful. I cannot imagine what he put you through - it must have been awful for you to still harbor the resentment. I can only imagine what the victims family or those Mr. Pickles held hostage are feeling as well.

What I wrote about you being a "man", I retract. It just bothers me to see someone so gleeful about Mr. Pickles' imprisonment. For life. Not because I believe he should be let out - quite the contrary - I am a HUGE believer in eye for an eye justice. I suppose, since Mr. Pickles is my friend, that I am thankful Michigan does not. It bothers me for his partner, friends, family and most importantly, his children. His parents seem to be wonderful people. I will never forget the conversation I had with Mr. Pickles' father when he told me what Mr. Pickles had done. As a parent myself, I cannot imagine what they're going through. To know your own flesh and blood is capable of such monsterous behavior is something I hope I never experience.

No, it was not the drugs that killed that man and went on the rampage. It was Mr. Pickles. Mr. Pickles on drugs. Mr. Pickles, when he was not on drugs, was a wonderful human being. A great father, partner and friend. He helped me through a really tough time (or what I thought was a tough time - I was young!) and for that, I will always call Mr. Pickles a friend. It's hard for me. Very hard. Especially with my beliefs. However, I know the man Mr. Pickles was when he was not under the influence and I know the man he aspired to be. I know of all of the addicts he helped counsel and the fight he fought. It saddens me he had to lose his fight at the cost of someone's life and other happiness (i.e. you). And, no, I do not consider him a fallen hero. I consider him a wasted life as he did have a lot to offer. If you had read some of his writings, you would know he had a gift.

I am not asking you to forgive him and I believe it is not possible. I only ask that you remove the posts because he has children. Children who do not need to know anymore horrible things about him than they already do.

Thank you.